This piece is an observation, and absolutely nothing to do with conferences, but I thought it might make light relief.
I’m not usually one to give any credence at all to conspiracy theories, but I definitely think that there’s no such thing as an impulse purchase. I think that products somehow conspire to be bought by certain people, through a mechanism as yet unknown to mankind.
Occasionally I nip to the supermarket to get one or two unforeseen essentials, like barbeque coals when the rain stops on a Sunday. As I have a reputation for coming home with other weird stuff, I find my wife eagerly waiting to criticise what I bring home.
A couple of weekends ago, my errand was for some baking foil, and razorblades. I came back with both (score a perfect 10!) - plus two duck breasts, a particularly elegantly shaped bottle of olive oil, three Mars bars (3?) and a jar of olives stuffed with garlic. All of the additional items were received with the usual derision by Mrs H, and when asked to explain why I had bought them, I once again explained my theory as she stored them away with all my other strange purchases.
As I said above, I think that somehow, these products conspire to be bought. By me. They sit there waiting for me to walk down the aisle. They usually look pretty good, with nice labels and special packaging, or else they are placed by the till covered in chocolate and just begging to be bought (Mars Bars). They watch for me coming, and somehow shine and shimmer, or maybe even twitch a bit or make a noise to attract attention (I know this is a long shot). They insist on being picked up and popped into the trolley. I know what you’re thinking – I’ve gone off my own trolley, and that's the usual reply I get at home.
I’m really trying to curb my impulsive buying tendencies. One of my strategies is to stay out of supermarkets altogether. It seems to be working. Mind you, this week I went to an antiques fair to buy a bookcase and came back with a clock, so it could be a long haul.
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