It’s not healthy for you because before you have even said "entrees" they’ll have produced a whisk and whipped up a delicious Fresh Fruit Pavlova (where did they get the eggs from!?) that puts your ‘Angel Delight served in Martini Glasses’ to shame.
It’s not healthy for them either: the minute they spy you emerging from the kitchen with your ‘Pate on Toast’ starter the evening is a write-off and the only logical course of action is for them to protect their taste buds by getting in the kitchen and doing the job themselves.
Which leaves me to wonder... as an event planner in training (a bit like a Jedi, but without the light sabre), is it really healthy for me to be organising my own wedding?
If I were to place an advert in the local newspaper for an Event Manager tomorrow, it would look something like this:
The candidate must be
• Organised
• Mildly telapathic
• Very, very paranoid. All the time. About everything.
One phrase you will never hear an Event Manager say is “I assume”, because we don’t. Ever.
On the one hand it makes me proud to be part of this team, and to know we do a fantastic job. On the other hand it makes me feel very sick; because if we are the 'Yoda' of event management, then the Event Manager of my wedding is definitely the opposite of this, or ‘Oppoyoda’, if you will.
From the very first email, on which I was instructed to go on to ‘Google Maps’ to find their venue, I knew that this was not going to be easy. Bad quickly went to worse when, on the food tasting, I mentioned that in a room full of 350 people there was bound to be at least one vegetarian/dairy free/low fat/Atkins diet/don’t like tomato/chocoholic – who would probably only make their preferences known on the day. I received a blank, open mouthed, gaze in return.
I had also naively thought that we would receive a show round of the venue on our first meeting, as is common practise here. Wrong again. Not only did Oppoyoda neither offer or arrange a show round, they actually suggested that I do it myself, direct with the venue, as it wasn't their department.
Sometimes I forget how very lucky we are here to have a fantastic marketing, conference and catering department, all under one roof. Who, funnily enough, we communicate with daily.
Several weeks later, tired of waiting around for Oppoyoda to reply to my messages regarding the venue contact, I took matters into my own hands and found the right person myself. Having arranged my own show round I re-contacted Oppoyoda to request his presence, to which he had the audacity to accuse me of going behind his back on the matter, further adding that he would have to check his diary for availability.
Is it any wonder I need something stronger than Angel Delight - where did I put those Martini Glasses?
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